Monthly Archives: January 2004

Reflect.1

I was walking through time forever it seemed,
Begrudged, not knowing why I journeyed here, as
Frightened questions gave unto questions’ stare,
Fragile innocence giving up knowledge’s tolls.

How can the world be so? my voice wept among
Corroded iron ramparts and misty corridors

But I’d longed for thoughts that belonged not to me.
But I’d filled my head with poisoned beliefs.

So I walked among the dead and their silent solitude,
Funeral marches, lurid daylight, a meadow’s warm touch.
For those who speak not they have many tales to tell,
In scattered whispers from their tombs of blanched stone.

And as slowly I withdrew from the graveyard that day
I took also those lessons, in happily tearful eyes.

Sobering it was, with inspiration later that eve.
Then quiet as a mouse, there was a new peace.

And here it is found, with a long, grateful breath.

I love as I always have — those close to my heart,
And I love too this life, and the secrets it holds.

Heart’s Retrospect

When love takes you down
With a beckoning smile
When love cuts your mind
With emotional razors
When you’re on the brink
Between two worlds
When you’re unable to cry
Because the tears are gone
When all of life’s wonders
Have turned into sad regret

So many never see
That love this is not!

For true love is … caring
Not inconsiderate or hateful
True love is sharing,
Not fearful nor hoarding
And last, it is honest,
Not deceptive or deadly.

For the ties that bind
Hold true and fast
And heed these words
To make love last.

When

If coupling is what your standard bears, sex is all you’ll see,
If ease becomes your battle cry, small pains you’ll always flee,
And self-fulfilling prophecies, such innocent lies of thee,
The new world’s but a step away, if only you’d look up and see!

Why do you punish yourself when you’re no different than I?
Why do you forsake strong wings when you can easily fly?

How long will you stay your hand, oppressed by the toothless ghost?
How long will you be prisoner to thyself, longing to see the coast?
How long will you refuse to know your strength and feel it is yours?
How long till you smile to me and walk through these open doors?

Being a friend is fraught with hardship, but about this time of pain,
The answer has been in front of you — why will you do this again?
Can you not take charge of yourself and let these specters go?
Must all the world be your stage, from dramatic high to low?

If you say you’re serious in reclaiming your life,
Then please stop acting like you’re Misery’s wife!

Walking Free

Deep blue skies and moonstone flash,
Whither went my dreams, old friend
‘Till I remembered you?

How small my place on ground would seem,
‘Till I looked up to your boundless veils
Your brazen clouds, crisp knights of air

How bound I might feel on this dim land,
‘Till I saw the burning sapphire above
Where to launch my soul so high and free

And the winds, they charge to endless days,
Soft whispers of dreams and threads of life
A blast of cold to wake you at morn

And the stars, O the stars that shine down in eves,
The night remembers our toils and wins
And gives us rest from this rush’ed life

And back they’ll come at dawn’s first light
Another day, another chance to gaze upon
The airborne knights and moonstone flash

Live to Endure

in silent darkness, I found my faith
among raging fires, I knew a peace
amidst my tortures, I learned to love

within the void, my fortress strong
within the fume, my choking shroud
within the pain, my strength of will

learning to question the old beliefs
gasping for air, a sweet spring breeze
losing my strength to a lover’s fist

they say we’ll always rebuild the walls
they say we’ll ever breathe again
they say we’ll feel true one day

when will that day be mine, I ask?
without the regret of ten thousand days
or memory of broken love to treasure?

the faith I had went down the drain
the fires that burned are ash and ice
the strain has become a part of me

the moment came when I learned the truth
the moment came when the spark was renewed
the moment came when a kiss was sweet

so here I stand, with tested strength
here I burn, with a passion for fear
here I love, with this tainted desire

yours to make and yours to break.

The Narcissus-Prisoner

This tattered fold of the madman’s kiss:
Yellow-flavoured moments of bile and flesh …

The slow, flashing fall of a doctor’s knife,
The white-walled rooms of endless days …

The tables by day with their sheets alight,
Soiled with blood and anger by eve …

In the curling pages a mind slips away,
In a sparkling screech, this soul falls to void …

And with each new drug I giggle and ask,
How came they to think they’re helping me last?

First it was Haldol, now Prozac is king –
With its warm little halos and a feel-good sting,

Anti-psychotics, uppers, downers for all,
Not a lick of your love, just demands to get well!

So, victim or vict’mized, which was your game?
Did they ever find cures for apathy’s shame?

But methinks I forgot, you’re perfectly fine,
Just say I’m in treatment and your sins disappear!

Ten long years holding this family at odds,
Each moment a lie that you’re happy with you;

A decade’s animated frustration has passed,
Shaping your loved so you don’t have to change …

If lessons are truths,
Then let mine be heard:

Hell is an empty house – haunted by those who cared.

Armoured

On that summer’s night these wings saw flight.
On a summer’s night my hopes flared bright.
Head swimming, storms of silvered love
Soaring boundless, ever farther above

Fateful moment, so cruel and unjust
Now all we had is no more than dust

Mercy’s no elixir. Is there an escape?
Teach me, love, make me a believer.
Unquiet visions at night, and will I live?
Break me, love, make me a survivor.

Lying pained so long I cry.
Fighting time and sharp self-loathing.
Can I break depression’s hold?
I yearn for consolation once more.

Scars will fade with time’s caress;
Pain is dulled by age and wisdom;
Deeper things are not forgotten;
Here I stand, armoured again.

Flux

Shed the skins of a fallen age
Cast adrift and set the carcass ablaze
Laughing, singing in tense morning air
As Nero’s fiddle plays forever on
Flee the cities and the madmens’ rage
Away, death calls in the village square

From consternation, fright and fires
Adrenaline, fear and liars

Escape the iron of the tyrants’ fists
Spirited away to a lagoon of dreams
Cut the tethers, let yourself swim deep
Lusher forests, lurid full moon eve
Amber flickers in the cottage’s pane
Lightning blue as the faery-lights wane

Crashing, rolling into golden silence
Stings the heart with tragedy’s violence

Nineteen

Another year of wonder we receive
To cherish the moments grand and small
From golden sunrise to rose-hued eve
In briskest winter and mellowest fall

From mountains to seas, from twilight to day,
May you always have a light to lead the way.

The Arcane

The sweet scent of a warm pinewood staff
Reaches into the depths of obsidian eve
Past the quiet cascade of heat and light
From a dying bonfire’s wax and wane

Beneath the weep of the vast willow trees,
Beyond earshot of the bat’s shrillest cry,
In a land as ancient as millennia past,
A gathering of old souls comes at last

Slowly approach the travellers of the netherworld,
Silhouetted by the crimson haze of a fire’s last embers,
Shrouded in black, heads bowed with parchment in hand,
Holding staves bearing old graven runes of power.

Out from the clouds comes moonlight’s soft kiss,
From velvet skies shines pure, radiant beauty,
And for a moment in time, Silence is crowned king
As beasts pause to listen to the strange folk at hand.

Goddess

Tonight, an eve so wreathed by beauty
Cast in moonlit pitch of the heights above
So gaze on high and see the shadows …
Give yourself to the unquiet side

Dip and swoosh in the moon’s happy wake, in a cotton candy sky
Nip and tease of sharp December’s air, swirling as it may

Tonight we go as high as ever
Tonight in snow, as strong as ever
Tonight in peace, as slick as ever
Tonight in dream, as quiet as ever
Tonight in love, to be young forever

Today was learned by those who listened
By those who loved, who threw me their hearts,
By those who ate the universe and felt its savour,
Don’t you feel its whispers in you?

Today was won in amber melodies
By the glowing candles and a minstrel’s touch,
By the guttural notes of a warrior’s song,
Don’t you hear her calling your name?

And here I hear her silvery voice
Binding all that is and will be,
At once the death and birth of the soul
In even this one moment bright,

Just …

You,
Me,
Luna,
And the caress of the night —
Whose touch will always be welcome.